Paraphrasing is a key counselling skill where you are reflecting your understanding of what the client has said back to them in your own words. You are taking the client’s material and extracting the essence of what they have said and forming that in your own words.
This is what differentiates it from reflecting content which is where you restate the client’s material back to them, exactly as they said it.
Equally, paraphrasing and summarising may share some similarities, but can be differentiated on the scope of content that they cover. Summarising covers a wide stretch of the client’s material and may also reflect the client’s feelings and meaning. Summarising is, however, paraphrased as it is taking what the client has said and put into the counsellor’s own words.
Paraphrasing, as a counselling skill, covers a shorter amount of content; usually what the client has just said.
Purpose of paraphrasing
Paraphrasing is primarily used as a reflective tool. You are mirroring back to the client what they have said in your own words. The client can hear their thoughts from an objective outside perspective. This can promote further exploration and increase the client’s introspection.
Using this skill also helps to control the timing and flow of the session. It slows the conversation down, allowing time to sit with thoughts that may have otherwise come and gone. The client may present some thoughts that are not yet fully formed. But hearing these thoughts reflected back to them can highlight any underlying issues that were less obvious beforehand.
Paraphrasing can embolden the therapeutic relationship. With this skill, you are communicating with the client that they have your full attention. In doing so, the client can feel heard and understood. Overtime and alongside other counselling skills, the client will build trust in the relationship. They should eventually start to feel more comfortable in the counselling space and feel able to share deeper or more difficult experiences or feelings with you.
From the counsellor’s perspective, you are also checking you are on the same page as the client. Paraphrasing helps to clarify whether your interpretation of the client’s material is correct. The client can respond to your interjection by confirming or correcting your interpretation. If the client needs to correct you, this can still be helpful in building the therapeutic relationship by getting you back on the client’s level.
Using paraphrasing
Below is an example of how you might paraphrase a client in a session:
Client: “I just don’t know what to do anymore. My boss keeps piling projects on my desk, and I’m staying at the office until 8 PM every night just to stay afloat. I haven’t seen my friends in weeks, my apartment is a disaster, and honestly, every time my phone buzzes with a new email notification, my stomach completely drops. I feel like I’m drowning, but if I say no to him, I’m terrified I’ll get fired.”
Counsellor: “It sounds like the massive workload is taking over your life right now, leaving you zero time for yourself or your relationships. But you feel trapped because setting a boundary feels like it puts your job at risk.”
Video example
Below is a video example of paraphrasing alongside attending and summarising by Kelly Allison from the University of British Columbia:
How to paraphrase effectively
Good paraphrasing should be shorter in length than what the client has presented to you. When the client is talking, listen for the central message to what they are saying. You are not simply parroting back what their words. Effective paraphrasing extracts the essence of the client’s material and highlights those crucial points that the client has made.
You may want to start with a soft opener such as “it sounds like…” or “it seems what you are saying is…”. This presents your interjection as an interpretation rather than fact. Remember, you may be wrong in your interpretation.
As such, you should also give the client opportunity to confirm or correct your interpretation. You may want to end your paraphrase with an invite for their input. This could be something along the lines of, “I don’t know how that sounds to you” or “what do you think?”
Aim for accuracy in your paraphrasing. You may not always get it exactly right. However, being accurate in your interpretation shows that you are listening and understanding the client. This can help build trust in the relationship, enhancing the therapeutic process.
Be clear and concise in your use of language. Using long words or meandering explanations may confuse the client and take away from what you are trying to convey. Keeping it simple ensures the client understands, whereas long words and sentences may lose the client’s attention.
Finally, be non-judgemental in your approach. You are not trying to give advice or share your opinion with paraphrasing. You should stay within the client’s frame of reference and keep check of when an interpretation might come from your own perspective. The therapeutic relationship is a vital element of the process and remaining non-judgemental is crucial for building rapport and trust with the client.
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